For our September Notepad, Celine talks about the importance of having a prevention plan and to talk about suicidal thoughts.

Suicide touches every category of the population, but we, people living with serious mental illnesses, are more at risk. Psychosis can make us lose touch with reality, mixed or depressive episodes can be barely tolerable, traumatic experiences related to illness can stick with us and destroy our faith in ourselves and the future.   

I have been living with suicidal thoughts for 3 years now. They come and go, have varying intensities, and are primarily related to bipolar mixed episodes. When I had my first suicidal thoughts, I was scared and confused. I worked on distress tolerance with my therapist, elaborated a crisis plan and became motivated to learn as much as I could on the topic. “Know your enemy.” So, I joined the Crisis Centre and took all possible training on the subject up to becoming a safeTALK trainer. Suicidal thoughts are still there, but I learnt the tricks to keep myself as safe as possible: 

  • I make sure that I don’t have everything I need to act on my plan at home.  
  • Knowing that I am impulsive during mixed episodes, I might come up with another plan rapidly. So, I go to a place like a coffee shop where multiple people surround me.  
  • I communicate about my state to my partner.  
  • I make sure that I have good mental health hygiene: more sleep and more self-care. 
  • Finally, knowing when all the above solutions are not enough and acknowledging when I must book an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist, have additional therapy sessions or go to the hospital.  

Suicide flourishes in silence. Having open discussions about these thoughts is normal. If you have a loved one struggling, taking the trainings, SafeTALK and/or ASIST, can offer you the tools to help them.  

In order to offer you additional support, we would like to hear back from you. We’re offering a Q & A section for caregivers. If you have specific questions or inquiries about living with mental illness, please send them to support@pathwayssmi.org and we will do our best to address them in a future Notepad newsletter.